Guess what? It IS my life. I had no choice in the matter. I didn't choose to lose my son, but here I am dealing and coping with it...in MY way.
Aren't your children YOUR life? Didn't having kids change your life, your outlook, your behavior, your thoughts, your dreams, your goals, your everything? Well my son changed mine in the same way. He isn't here, I can't hold him, I don't have to take him to soccer practice. But I did have a son, he is my son, I am a mother and I think about and miss him every second of everyday. Just as you would if your 2-day, 2-week, 2-month, 2-year or 20-year-old child died suddenly, without any explanation. You watch your child do new things every day, I dream about what my child would be doing every day.
Before you say “You’ve let this become your life” or “You are obsessed about your loss” to some friend who has had a loss, take a look at your own child and think how you feel about them. Then remember that those of who have been through a loss, that we have the same feelings every day on TOP of the grief we deal with every day.
So no, I am not ‘over’ it, I will never be ‘over’ it. And yes, I am ‘obsessed’ with my son, yes, I do focus much of my energy on his memory. But he WAS the most amazing thing that ever happened to me, and I will ALWAYS notice that he isn’t here with me.
GRRR... that makes me so mad. People can be so thoughtless.
ReplyDeleteREALLY obsession? That's a stupid term to use! it's called LOVE you LOVE him. I dare a person to tell me I am obsessed with Cooper, it wouldn't be pretty. How about we do all we can do for our children, those we have lost or those who are living. I create memories and things for Cooper or about Cooper b/c he is my child too, maybe not in my home here with us, but he is my child. I held him, he had 10 fingers 10 toes, and looked like his big sister. he is very much real, just as John Preston is, he may not be in your home, but you are his mother and you do what you need to do to be the best mom you can be.
ReplyDelete